Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The XXIX (I think that is 29th) Olympiad

I realize that the Olympics have been done for some time now, but I have been meaning to make a post and it's been a while. I, like many other individuals, spent many hours in front of the television watching people run and bounce around whilst I stuffed my face with cheetos and drank Kool-Aid. In making this post I do not pretend for one minute that I am an athletic person. God must have fallen asleep when it came to assigning coordination to myself and my siblings. Sorry sibs, but don't kid yourselves. I look at most of the events and realize that I could not even physically do what these people are doing. The diving, gymnastics, pole-vault etc. Attempting such actions would result in a wheel chair, food through a straw, and diapers for one such as myself. There are, however, a few events that surprised me. Now, I don't claim that I could win or excel in any of these, but I do feel that I could actually do what these people are doing. I, therefore do not consider these sports or athletic. Events such as tug of war and baseball had to be discontinued to make time for Micky Mouse events. They are as follows:
First there is shooting. This consists of "air guns" (it's really just a BB gun, but if you call it that professional BB gun shooters tend to get upset) and real guns. I like guns. This is something I could do. I don't really consider it a sport though. It's a far cry from the days of ancient Greece when a bunch of sweaty, naked men would rub oil all over themselves and run around a track and wrestle (again something I couldn't do, for more than one reason). Back to the guns. Now, I don't say that these individuals don't have skill, I just don't think it's much of an athletic event, and I could do it.
I especially enjoy the official Olympic equipment, a visor and eye-patch.
Next on the list is Rhythmic gymnastics. This isn't something that I could really do and it does require some skill, I just think it's silly. These are the girls that tried gymnastics and couldn't do it. Then they tried diving and were too scared of the water. The trampoline was next, but they got sick from all the bouncing. So finally the decided on rhythmic gymnastics. Requirements: be flexible. I crack up every time I watch this. It's a bunch of Gumbee girls in leotards sliming around with rope, hoop, ball, and ribbon.
Here is a nice montage of screwups. It's a little long and I didn't watch the whole thing.

There are other events I think are a bit lame, horse riding (not racing, riding) where the beast does the work, "Oh thanks for the gold medal SeaTriscuit , here's a carrot." Table tennis, I know these guys are amazing, but it's ping pong. What's next the ring toss and badminton? Oh wait, badminton is an olympic sport. Watch our for that shuttlecock!

This image came up when I searched badminton injury.
My class is almost over so I better wrap this up, but I've saved the best for last. Walking. Walking is an Olympic sport. I can do this. Not very well, and maybe not whilst talking. But I can walk. My two year old can walk. Now, to make it sound more athletic, let us call it Racewalking. There are two rules that govern racewalking. The first dictates that the athlete's (ha!) back toe cannot leave the ground until the heel of the front foot has touched. Violation of this rule is known as loss of contact. The second rule requires that the supporting leg must straighten from the point of contact with the ground and remain straightened until the body passes over it. In other words, you can't run. There are a bunch of judges all along the path that jump in front of the walker and throw up a red card if they cheat. Again, I stress that I could not do this walking and be competitive. But I could do it. I wonder if there are many little boys and girls out there with life size posters of there favorite reacewalkers on their bedroom walls? I have to post a video of this because you won't appreciate racewalking until you see it.

This is the winner of the Gold Medal. My favorite part, if you watch it til the end, is the slow motion replay. Better check the photo finish.
So that is my take on the olympics. Maybe I'll start walking so as to be fit enough to compete at walking or possibly BB gun shooting in the XXX games.


Melinda said...

You are funny. I agree with you though some of those events were ridiculous. Love your take on it though..you crack me up. Well I better let you get to walkin!!!

BTW~ I love the "I'll be your hucklebery"....Ron loves that movie and used to always say that.

p.s. I hope Erica is coming to our lunch tomorrow...can't wait to see girls.

Sharisa said...

Haha! You post so rarely that you know it has to be good when you do :)

samflutch said...

In the buildup to London's hosting duties of the 2012 Olympics, the city's planners have created a "Cultural Olympiad" to generate buzz, highbrow British style. Twelve new public works of art are slated to open, the Royal Shakespeare Co. will produce a Shakespearean festival, a film competition will inspire the next wave of British filmmakers and Windsor Castle will be illuminated by a dazzling light show.

Lafe & Bea Wiltbank said...

I am so glad that you are posting again. I know it has been a while since you did your bit on the olympics, but we need more! There are probably dozens of us that read your blog and you cant let your fan base down!

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