Monday, February 4, 2008

Erica and I look forward to Monday nights. No, no, no, not for family night. It's for the recent and triumphant return of American Gladiators! Supposedly Erica went and saw it when she was a kid. Right. Just like how Patrick Swayze's mother lived down the street from her, she was on Murphy Brown, and how the Poltergeist house is just up the street from where she grew up. And like the one time, when Michael Jackson stopped by to use the bathroom, ok he didn't... but his sister did! She has several more of these fanciful stories for those that are interested. Anyway, for those that have not yet taken the time to watch this fantastic show, I recommend it. The quality acting blows my mind. It is hosted by none other than the amazing HULKSTER (see post below), but that is just the beginning. They have hired an all star cast. I realize that the contestants are going to sound mildly handicapped and a little over excited, but the gladiators are fantastic. I am going to talk about my favorite two, for those of you that don't know them.
First is WOLF!!!
AAHHU AAAHU AHHHHHHHUUUUUUHHHHH (that's my phonetic howl type).
This guy is great he growls and howls at the contestants. Here's what you might not know about Wolf a.k.a. Hollywood Don Yates.

Birthday: February 28, 1970

Birthplace: Phoenix, AZ (That's so awesome!)


Gender: Male
Height: 6 feet 4 in
Weight: 230
Physique: Athletic
Hair Color: Blond(e)
Hair Length: Long
Eyes: Blue
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Voice Type: Baritone


American Gladiators Wolf / Series Regular NBC / David Hurwitz


"American Gladiators" .... Wolf (5 episodes, 2008)
When Shadows Die (2005) (V) .... Biker #3
Vampire Slayers (2005) (V) .... Victor

Performer Skills

Dance: Pop Locking, Hip Hop, Line, Tango, Break, Club/Freestyle
Athletic Skills: Soccer, Aerobics, Boxing, Track & Field, Surfing, Football, Rollerblading, Baseball, Gymnastics, Swimming, Cycling, Basketball, Tennis, Martial Arts, Golf
Accents: Southern, Australian
Performance Skills: Martial Arts, Comedian, Dancing, Improvisation, Singing, Stunts, Host, Voiceover

This is from his website! (I highlighted some of the highlights)

Hollywood�s resume reads like the true Renaissance man - 23 years on the professional rodeo circuit as a bullfighter and rodeo clown, including 2 world titles, 3 National Final Rodeo rings and countless trophies. He wrestled professionally with the WWE and has been a stunt performer and actor. Maybe some of the complexity of his growth explains his wide range in life of this daunting competitor.

Most veterans of the rodeo circuit probably don�t also write poetry and songs and can also pull off acting. Hollywood can be as down to earth and humble as they come, yet when he rolls into the bull-ring or arena- everything changes- �I am not into humiliating people- but when I�m competing, I love destroying any hope my opponent might have- I want to take their heart away-so when they look up and see me- they feel crushed, like there�s no chance at all.�

WOW! not only is he a cowboy, he writes songs and poetry (I'm not sure what all the question mark?s a?re for). And I always wondered who that stunning Biker #3 was in When Shadows Die.

I Include this picture of the WOLF to show his softer side. When he isn't crushing mere mortals on AG (that's American Gladiators), he's just a big puppy dog.

My Next favorite gladiator is HELLGA!! (No that's not a typo, it is H-E-L-L-G-A)

MMMMMM TASTY!! Now, I'm faithful to my wife 100%, but I'm not going to lie, Hellga is a fine specimen of femininity. I couldn't find a birth date or birthplace for Hellga, a.k.a. Robin Coleman. I did find her website, however, but I couldn't bring myself to spring for the VIP access. She is a striking 6'-1" and 205 pounds of pure muscle.
She is very well rounded, and has this to say about her acting skills:

"I have educated myself in two disciplines; method acting (Meisner technique) and improvisational comedy (The Groundlings). This education has proved invaluable to me, and has given me insights about my craft, and suprisingly about my personal life as well. Not to mention great listening skills! "I love your shirt!" "You love my shirt?" "I LOVE YOUR SHIRT!!!" "OK! WHATEVER! YOU LOVE MY SHIRT"...Ah yes, Stanislavski and his method of making you look like a psychopath at the local coffee shop (a regular place of rehersal)."
I think that pretty much says it all.

I hope this little taste of the quality programming available to you all will encourage you to forgo spending time with your families this Monday and view something uplifting.

And yes, I have entirely too much time on my hands.


TyLER said...

I'm pretty sure her thighs are bigger then my waste size and that is something to brag about. HOT HOT! Go Dick and go American Gladiators.

kristenita said...

ok. so I was slightly OBSESSED with the american gladiators when I was in HS. we went to their dinner-show in orlando and it was the coolest thing ever. eat while they fight. I wanted to BE one and had my gladiator name picked out and everything: INFERNO.

ah thanks for the sweet post.

Melinda Pink said...

You are one sick puppy...poor Erica