Monday, February 4, 2008

Buffalo

As I sit here, not paying attention to the lecture I'm paying thousands of dollars for, I ponder the beauties of this lovely city I call home. "Buffalo, an all America City" the sign proudly proclaims as you enter the city limits. I consider myself a positive person, all in all, so I am not going to just rant and rave about what bothers me about living here, rather, I will list something I like about Buffalo for every complaint I delineate. But I will be complaining and whining. You are forewarned.
First and foremost, driving. I can handle a lot of the things people do. We all get cut off, we all get people swerving around us, I don't even mind getting flipped the occasional bird (although I may follow said flipper to their house and break their kneecaps with a nine iron, or at least scream like I will). I can even deal with people driving 45 on the freeway.
Two things I do not like.
First, red means stop. I don't know what these morons were doing the day the elementary school teacher went over this simple concept, but more than once we have had people go around us to run the red light after we have stopped. Never, before living here, have I had to literally wait and look both ways before going when the light turns green. Without fail you see someone fly by seconds after you have the green light.
The second thing that makes me want to rip my own toenails out with a pair of rusty pliers is the hazard lights. Maybe I just haven't learnt how to drive yet, but I was taught that you put your hazards on and pull over if your vehicle is having problems, you have to run to the bushes before you soil yourself, you have an open flesh wound, etc. Apparently in Buffalo the proper protocol when there are no available parking spaces is to park in the middle of the road, and turn the hazard lights on. Maybe they are called hazard lights because you are a hazard when you turn them on, I don't know, but I almost vomit when I have to stop and wait to go around someone because they have decided to stop in the middle of the road. But it's ok because they put their hazards on.
These are just two of the worst driving peeves, which I will categorize as one complaint.
One like.
I like Buffalo because it is close to Canada. We like Canada, it is clean, they have poutine (probably the most delicious food ever), they have Crystal Beach, and they have wunderbars (I know that's spelled weird, but they are Canadian).



Cadburys Wunderbar

This bar is a shell of very chewy toffee coated in creamy milk chocolate and inside - peanut butter.

OK, that was a positive thing, now I get to complain more. Next on my list. The food. Never before in my life have I had a hard time thinking of some sort of restaurant (I'm including fast-food albeit loosely). The service is terrible, we were once told, "we ain't got no sprite and we ain't got no large, what you want." Another time, after paying for our order at Taco Bell, we were politely informed that, "you gunna have to wait 15-20 minutes because we ain't got nuthin warmt up yet." Our friends were told at KFC that they would have to come back in a couple hours, they were out of chicken. The quality leaves a bit to be desired as well. Ask Erica about her beef stew burrito from Mighty Taco sometime.
Another thing, enough with the damn wings already. I say this as a wing lover. There is not a single restaurant here that does not serve wings in some way shape or form. This is appropriate at some restaurants. Congratulations on inventing the chicken wing, but when I walk in to an Italian restaurant, I want spaghetti, not wings.
OK, another positive. Umm..... there are four seasons. This can be a positive/negative. We have now been without power for multiple days on two separate occasions. Both of which were when the average temperature was about 7. A friend saw the power fixing guys out when his power was out and asked them when they would fix it. Not tonight, they said, it's not in the budget. Oh good.
But this is supposed to be a positive, and the spring/summer/fall here are beautiful. It it nice to be able to do things outside in the summer with out scalding yourself on the seatbelt. It is very green and we had a decent garden last year.
As I continue, I realize that this post is getting longer and wasting more of your valuable time than I have any right too. The last thing I will comment on is the economy, I'll try to be brief. I love the taxes here. We pay about $150 in property tax for our house. Did I mention that is monthly?!! So after paying that amount, which is bearable, we get slapped with a school tax of about the equal amount. Never mind we don't and never will have kids in school here. Sales tax is around 9%. But the welfare system is great! I honestly am fine with welfare and think it is great for those that need it, dental students included. But when we were looking for a house our realtor's assistant informed her that she was quitting because she would make more on welfare, and she wouldn't have to work! Isn't that great?! Now I get to pay for my children's food AND hers. Awesome.
Ok. Enough with the ranting. I hope that I have offended, because that was my intent.

4 comments:

The Hutchins said...

I hear you when it comes to the food part. Who would have thought we had it so good in AZ and that the food/service sucked everywhere else?? But you have inspired me to post a rant about living in Hawaii, you will have to give me a few days to whittle down my complaints list though...haha

Lari said...

hahahahaha I can't quit laughing. Maybe you should be a writer instead.

Brent said...

You forgot to mention income tax. I got a Federal refund last year but still ended up paying New York State a whopping $400. Imagine what it would be if I weren't a broke student with 4 kids.

Lafe & Bea said...

classic